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Job Stress

The Problem…

We spend a large part of our days and our lives at work. We expected to perform specific job responsibilities, and for this we obtain our salaries. These wages enable us to “survive” in this world. There are times on our jobs when we feel satisfied, and even exhilarated. We solve problems, and we execute our responsibilities effectively. We sense our achievements, and we receive recognition and praise from our employers and from our co-workers. Work is enjoyable and rewarding.

…moments when we feel tense and uncomfortable

Unfortunately, there are also moments when we feel tense and uncomfortable at work. For example, how might we feel:

When we are reminded that we tend to arrive late at the beginning of the workday, or that we take a long lunch hour, when the person reprimanding us is guilty of these very same behaviors.

When our co-workers try to push some of their work on us?

When we find our work boring and unexciting, and our only reason for remaining at work is for the paycheck?

When we are promised a salary increase, a bonus, or an increase in benefits, and time goes by and these promises are not fulfilled?

Solving The Problem…

How can we handle the job pressures in a more consistent, fruitful manner? We need to calm down, to objectively assess the situation, and to maturely discuss it with our employer. We need to understand our employer’s position, and why we were asked to perform this particular function at this time. We also need to be able to express our position clearly, directly, yet not with hostility and sarcasm. This way of interacting or relating, with mutual listening, mutual expressing, and mutual underlying respect, could clarify the issues, and might lead to some productive agreement or compromise. Even if our employer’s position remains unchanged, we at least expressed our feelings and thoughts about the situation, in a direct, yet non-aggressive manner. There is less “stuff” for us to have to bring home to “digest”.

Of course, any form of disagreement can result in us getting on our employer’s “bad side”. Enough disagreement might conceivably lead to our being fired. However, if we can feel secure from within ourselves, we know that our feelings and ideas are worthy of expression, even if these ideas differ from the authority at hand. We do not have to submit to, nor do we have to refute, authority. We need only to state our case clearly and calmly, in an atmosphere of mutual respect. With this posture, we will feel less trapped, more relaxed, and more able to question issues effectively. We might also be pleased to see that if we “disagree respectfully”, our boss will often consider our position, and try to be accommodating. Ultimately, with less feelings bottled up inside of us, we will feel more free. We will be less preoccupied with “why did he say this” or “why didn’t I do or say that”. It will then be easier for us to enjoy and live our personal lives in a fuller, more conflict-free manner.

How We React Under Stress…

We tend to react in one of two ways when we feel such pressures on the job. One way of reacting is for us to overlook authority, and for us to refuse to comply with requests which we feel are inappropriate. We stubbornly fixate on not doing, instead of realistically assessing the nature and the needs of the particular situation. We see ourselves as being in the right, and our employers as being in the wrong. We feel that if we are aggressive, others will back off. This non-cooperative posture leads to conflict, and to tense employer-employee relations.

These strong feelings can even effect us physically.

The second way of reacting when experiencing pressure on the job, is for us to submit, and automatically obey the voices of authority. We “swallow” our pride, and we keep our thoughts and our feelings hidden. We hold back our annoyance and anger when more work is piled on us, or when we are all too often asked to perform duties that are not within our job descriptions. Or we do not pursue our ideas of how our jobs might be made more stimulating and worthwhile. Holding back our thoughts and feelings does not lead us into a state of tranquility and contentment. Rather, it results in an edginess and a stirring within us, which leads us to become ill tempered, frustrated, and sad. These strong feelings can even effect us physically. They can contribute to ulcers and hypertension, or cause us to “forget” our problems through alcohol or drug use. Our personal lives suffer, and life seems to be miserable.

Psychotherapy Can Help…

This suggestion of expressing our needs and our thoughts to our employers is easy to understand, but it may not be that easy to do. For many of us, holding back our thoughts and our feelings is something which we have done for many years. Like any habit, it is hard to change. We don’t express annoyances and frustrations, for fear that something bad or hurtful might result. This same fear prevents us from showing our dislikes to our spouses, parents, friends, and co-workers.

Going to a psychologist for counseling helps us to overcome our fears, and our tendencies to hold back feelings. In the counseling sessions, we are taught how to be more comfortable with these feelings. The psychologist encourages us to explore our “inner world” of thoughts and emotions. He shows us how to express our ideas in a way that fosters mutual communication and mutual respect between ourselves and others. We grow to feel more comfortable with ourselves, less conflicted, and more energetic and hopeful. We present ourselves to the world in a more spontaneous manner. We become more confident, and we feel more secure and optimistic.

Dr. Sanford A. Schwartz, Ph.D., is a New York State licensed psychologist. He is experienced in treating stress, and family and marital problems.

Should you have any questions or should you wish to schedule a consultation, please Contact Dr. Schwartz:

Do you find yourself, on Sunday evening, dreading over returning to work on Monday morning?

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Do you find yourself attending meetings on the job which are repetitive and boring?

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Do you find yourself wanting to confront your employer or a fellow worker about some issue, but end up instead holding your thoughts and your feelings in check?

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Do you fantasize about doing work that is more stimulating and more in line with your intelligence and overall abilities?

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